Monday, November 28, 2011

Which Rifle is better? The AK-47, the AR-15, or the Mosin-Nagant

I saw this joke on some forum or another a while back and forgotten about it until I recently found my copy of it again.  I thought I will post it here as I found it funny and sadly, pretty true.  I shot an AK-47 once many years ago and never gotten the urge to join the “Cult of the AK.”  I handled and shot the M16A1 (a variant of the AR-15) for 15 years in the Guard and I liked it, but again never got into the “Stoner Cult.”  But now, I am a proud owner of a Mosin-Nagant rifle.  So I really could relate to a lot of items listed below.  I hope this brings a laugh or two.
AK-47
AR-15
Mosin-Nagant

Cost

AK-47: You paid $330 for your rifle.
AR-15: You paid $900 for your rifle.
Mosin-Nagant: You paid $49.95…and that includes the cleaning kit, 100 rounds of ammunition, the cost of the ticket to the gun show, and the hot dog & soda that you bought while you were there!

History of the Rifles

AK-47: Has been around for 50 years.
AR-15: Has been around for 40 years.
Mosin-Nagant: Has been around for 100 years and counting.

AK-47: Your rifle has been used by any two-bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR-15: Your rifle has been used by elite forces worldwide to fight two-bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle has fought against itself - and won every time.

AK-47: Your rifle has won some revolutions.
AR-15: Your rifle drove Saddam out of Kuwait.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle conquered Hitler, Russia, half of Europe, parts of Asia, and forced the United States into a stalemate on the 38th Parallel

Maintenance & Cleaning

AK-47: Any fool can be taught to field strip it.
AR-15: Anyone with an IQ over 160 can be taught to field strip it.
Mosin-Nagant: What's field stripping?

AK-47: It works even though you have never cleaned it.
AR-15: You have to buy a $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
Mosin-Nagant: It was last cleaned while in Berlin in 1945.

AK-47: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR-15: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, if it's under warranty!
Mosin-Nagant: If your rifle breaks, you pick up another one cheap.

Accuracy & Damage

AK-47: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR-15: You are able to hit the fly that landed on the side of a barn at 100 meters.
Mosin-Nagant: You can hit the barn from two miles away.

AK-47: Your sight adjustment goes to10, and you've never bothered moving it.
AR-15: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minutes in an angle.
Mosin-Nagant: Your sight adjustment goes to 2000 meters, and you've actually tried it.

AK-47: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak.
AR-15: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 10 rounds.
Mosin-Nagant: You knock down everyone else's target with the shockwave of your bullet going down range.

Finishes & Functions

AK-47: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR-15: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high-tech polymers.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle's finish is low-grade shellac, cosmoline, and Olga's toe nail polish.

AK-47: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR-15: What's recoil?
Mosin-Nagant: Recoil is often used to fix shoulders dislocated by the previous shot.

AK-47: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR-15: You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
Mosin-Nagant: What's a safety?

Accessories

AK-47: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR-15: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it has been buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest back in '45.

AK-47: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR-15: Your rifle has a 9-point stealth tactical suspension system.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle has a dog collar.

AK-47: Cheap magazines are fun to buy.
AR-15: Cheap magazines melt.
Mosin-Nagant: What's a magazine?

Ammunition & Bayonet

AK-47: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR-15: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper assembly.
Mosin-Nagant: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54 R.

AK-47: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR-15: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
Mosin-Nagant: Your ammo was dug out of a farmer's field in the Ukraine and it works just fine.

AK-47: When out of ammo, your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR-15: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great waffle ball bat.
Mosin-Nagant: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.

AK-47: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR-15: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
Mosin-Nagant: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.

AK-47: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR-15: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
Mosin-Nagant: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the stream without leaving the comfort of your hole.

Recognizing what kind of rifle owner you are

AK-47: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your hand guards to burst into flames.
AR-15: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
Mosin-Nagant: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2”x4”.

AK-47: After a long day the range, you relax by watching Red Dawn.
AR-15: After a long day at the range, you relax by watching Black Hawk Down.
Mosin-Nagant: After a long day at the range, you relax by visiting the chiropractor.

AK-47: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of vodka.
AR-15: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hot dogs and apple pie.
Mosin-Nagant: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a shish kabob.

AK-47: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR-15: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
Mosin-Nagant: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench to sleep in.

AK-47: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR-15: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
Mosin-Nagant: Are there even photographs of Sergi Ivanovich Mosin and Leon Nagant?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Picture is showing an AKM.

Sapper Joe said...

That just proves that I am not part of the Cult of the AK. I have now replaced it with what I hope is an AK-47.

Native American said...

rdcAfter one month of owenership of a Mosin Nagant 91/30, I am proud to say everything in the article is 100% true.

Sapper Joe said...

I know!